Life’s like that: Of ifs and but(t)s :-\

13 Apr

Life has strange ways of teaching us to laugh till we breathe and love till we live. I guess my fit of realization has struck yet again!

But naturally!

I have always found it difficult to mention the most embarrassing moment of my life as there have been many such moments and in fact they keep happening day in and day out. So much so that now I have got habituated to them. On a day when I feel that I haven’t been in a situation that I never wanted to be in, I feel a little void in my life. Well! There are many such voids, not just in my life, but in my brain as well, but let us not venture into the obvious. So, it was one such sober day when nothing eventful had happened since the morning and I had not realized it till the time something eventful happened!

The project I was working on was in the unit testing phase and I was executing some test cases. Now those who know me, know that I am totally absent minded to the extent of even disregarding if someone pings me. Believe me I don’t do it on purpose. It is just too profound for my tiny winy brain to goof up a code and a chat at the same time. So I stick to messing up only one thing at a time. But this time it was different. My client coordinator was trying to ping me and ask me which test cases I had executed and something seemed to have gone wrong with the messenger. So, she came to my desk with a hope that the test cases are going fine. This is how the conversation went:-

She: Hi. How’s it going? How many test cases have you executed?

Me: Doing fine. I executed a couple of them.

She: Anything annoying?

Me: It mostly looks good but… (Before I could complete the statement) 😳

She: I don’t like your but! 🙄

There was silence for around half a minute which was followed by a guffaw, laughter and monstrous uproars from all around my cubicle that lasted for the rest of the day. Even the most silent person around who in the last year and a half has barely uttered something more than a silent ‘Hi’ was laughing his lungs out.

It had become definitive of embarrassment for me. 😳 People quipped every now and then chuckling a joke, wittiest one liners here and there. The fun was enough to get people smiling for the rest of the week. The entire world seemed to conspire against my innocent buttocks!

My life as a dog..

And why did I mention that there is no dearth of embarrassing moments in my life? Because I can write pages and pages about it wasting the server space of CH1. The day my behind became an object of insult, I went into my thinking-about-the-past mode only to realize something about myself which my sister put it across to me as bluntly as always.

I remembered this incident that happened a couple of years ago. The washing machine at my place had refused to work and the prompt 24 hour service of the manufacturing company had taken nearly 72 hours to come and pay the visit to the affected area. The day finally arrived when the mechanic arrived. He was welcomed by my mother. You really don’t want to be welcomed by her when you know that she doesn’t want to welcome you. If you know what I mean! After a round of choicest of opening lines threatening the poor mechanic to take his company to the consumer court, mommy dearest finally let him in to look at the broken machine.

He was just about to enter the bathroom when yours truly did something for which he has been known across the lengths and breadths of  Khaandan’s residing in the vicinity. The noise was monstrous, as if the sky had broken down. Before your dirty minds concoct something out of the noise, let me curb all your imaginations and tell you that I SNEAZED! Accchhoooooo

So what? The mechanic stepped back hurriedly and asked – “Do you have a dog?” 😈 😳

Once again, there was a silence for half a minute and then there was a blasphemy of pick ons:-

My mother (Laughing uncontrollable): No No! we don’t have a dog. We have a son.. and he doesn’t bite.. HA HA HA HA 😆

My grand mother (Not caring enough about the serial running on the TV now as she had something juicier): God knows how that sound comes from that tiny little thing I call my grand son! 🙄

So there I was, once again a laughing stock for an absolute stranger who later on went ahead to mess up the washing machine further as a result of which we had to replace it with a new one.

And why was I reminded of this incident when I spoke with my sister? Because this is what she said:-

“You have an ugly but(t) and you sneeze like a dog. Do you still need reasons to know why you are single?”

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12 Responses to “Life’s like that: Of ifs and but(t)s :-\”

  1. Abhishek April 14, 2010 at 1:59 pm #

    Lol. So much goes in deciphering the one last sentence.
    Can’t help agreeing with you: “Life’s Like That”.

    • Himanshu April 18, 2010 at 8:37 pm #

      @ Abhishek
      True dude.. It does take all that to know ‘Life’s like that’ 🙂
      Thanks for visiting. as always! 🙂

  2. megzone April 16, 2010 at 1:02 pm #

    ROFL 😆
    maaannnn… himan… i was guffawing soooooo baddllyyy…..
    that too when i read this second time round 😛
    that MOM was wondering if her daughter is still sane enuff.. 🙄

    /She: I don’t like your but!/
    LOL..!!! LOL…!! LOL…!! 😀 😆
    im soooweeeee but i seriously couldnt help “butt” laff 😆

    /“Do you have a dog?”/
    ROFL 😆
    no comments :p

    /God knows how that sound comes from that tiny little thing I call my grand son! /
    LOLzzz… 😆
    “tiny lil thing” dint have complan eh…??? 😉
    or even horlicks for that matter :p
    would have made you taller stronger sharper and perhaps have helped you control ur sneeze too 😉 😛 😀 🙂

    you know wat..?
    you could actually publish a book titled “The Embarassing moments of my life” 😆
    trust me you have one buyer ready to read… 😛
    i promise i will even review your book on my blog 😉
    pinky-swear 😀

  3. Himanshu April 18, 2010 at 8:40 pm #

    @ Megzy
    //that MOM was wondering if her daughter is still sane enuff//–nalaayak! what a heartless crowd! no one even trying to empathize with this dud(e). everyone is only happily laughing away to the misery.. 🙄
    //im soooweeeee but i seriously couldnt help “butt” laff //– ROFL.. likewise.. and i guess it holds true for all those blokes sitting around my cube who had a laugh like never before! 😀
    //or even horlicks for that matter //–even horlicks doesnt seem to be helping me. 😳
    //you control ur sneeze too //–I have mastered the art of controlled sneazing now. Thanks to my roomie. He has taught me what he calls ‘cubicle decible sneaze’. It is equally funny to hear me give that as well!
    //trust me you have one buyer ready to read//–Needless to say. There are many like you who would love to laugh at my idiosyncracies. Be my guest!
    //i promise i will even review your book on my blog //–Now thats an inviting proposition eh?
    Thanks for that fantabulous comment indeed.. made me smile as well.. i dont know why though! 🙄

  4. Geeta April 19, 2010 at 9:55 am #

    😀 🙂 😀 thanks for sharing! 🙂 those pauses, and then laughter, did echo in my apartment here too 🙂

    keep posting! am glad to have found this link.

    • Himanshu April 19, 2010 at 10:02 am #

      @Geeta
      Yay!! 😛
      Its so good to see you here and find your blog.. 🙂
      In the most subtle way, you have successfully stated how you laughed at my cost.. But then, thats what is Life! Laugh it out! 🙂
      Thanks a bunch for that comment Geets. Its a pleasure to have you on this space..

  5. Dishit April 28, 2010 at 8:58 am #

    Hilarious one dude! you are arming me with ways to take your case, buddy :mrgreen: hehe

    Seriously you do have a knack of getting in to possible embarassing situations. However, with the talent you have, you also make sure you convert the possibility into certainty. 😉

    Enjoyed reading this – hope that you have more such situations and liven up our day re-telling them on your posts! (just kidding there 🙂 )

    • Himanshu May 21, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

      @ Dishit
      //Seriously you do have a knack of getting in to possible embarassing situations//–And who would know that better than you! 😛
      // convert the possibility into certainty.//–Ha! The genius speaks yet again!! 😈
      //just kidding there //–I know you are so not kiddin’

      Thanks anyway for stopping by 😛

  6. Agila May 2, 2010 at 9:51 pm #

    Haha.. somebody’s case seems to be taken left right center every now and then. 😀 I am terribly scared of dogs btw.. So, stay away from me when you have a cold.. lest you want to lose a friend.. 😀

    Cheers!

    • Himanshu May 21, 2010 at 5:44 pm #

      @ Ags
      // I am terribly scared of dogs btw//–Likewise..Cant stay away from myself though 😛
      Glad you enjoyed the post. Cheers!

  7. Jayesh Nachnani February 3, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    ROFL…Hilarious!

    • Himanshu February 3, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

      Hey jayesh!

      Thanks for visiting my blog.
      Yeah yeah.. you too can have all the fun at my cost.. 😛

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